Forgiveness, perhaps, is the medicine you need to be healthy.
If left uncontrolled, any stress, regardless of its cause, will have a negative impact on our well-being. High blood pressure, Anxiety, cancer, sleeplessness, heart disease, ME/chronic fatigue syndrome, stroke, and depression are just a few of the illnesses that can result from accumulated stress. As a result, any measures we may take to lower our stress would be good.
Many people are unaware that most of their tension is caused by internal conflicts.
Consider your mind to be an iceberg. Your conscious mind is the part of it that is above the water. This is where you keep your values and principles, where you make daily decisions, and where you keep your religious and political convictions. This is the part of your mind that you are conscious of.
The majority of what is beneath the surface is the secret realm of your subconscious mind. The subconscious is a dreamy place. It has its own agenda, which is frequently at odds with what you consciously desire.
Every quarrel causes tension, and every source of stress weakens your resolve.
Forgiveness is a medicine
Unforgiveness is a primary source of such conflict. We frequently state that we have forgiven someone, but your conscious mind is the only one who believes this. Most of the time, your subconscious mind refuses to forgive and has even pledged to hate the culprit for the rest of your life!
So, what is the impact of this? It’s fairly straightforward. There is conflict whenever your conscious and subconscious minds disagree on a topic. Consider it to be computer software with a flaw.
It is impossible to resolve the disagreement because a part of you will never be satisfied with the solution.
For example, you might consciously think, “I forgive my sister for destroying my doll.” Meanwhile, your subconscious has recorded, “I promise to hate my sister for the rest of my life for breaking my doll.” Both of these programs cannot be resolved at the same time.
You either forgive or do not forgive someone. You are unable to perform both.
As a result, the mental program runs in a never-ending loop, using enormous amounts of energy and causing mental and emotional stress. In this example, the fight may have lasted thirty, forty, or fifty years! Even if you aren’t thinking about the occurrence, your mind is still grappling with the issue on a deeper level. Consider how many conflicts like this you have in your head right now. These internal conflicts cause a lot of tension!
But always we must forgive ourselves first,
following these steps:
Forgiveness and Guilt
If you’ve broken a rule or violated your moral code, and you’re now feeling guilty about it, the shame is unpleasant it gnaws at you. Everywhere you turn, the universe seems to be reminding you of what you did wrong, and you don’t know how to stop feeling horrible. The only way to get rid of the unpleasant emotions you’re feeling is to forgive yourself.
1. Take responsibility for what you’ve done
When you fully accept responsibility for your choices and the repercussions of those actions, you can begin the process of forgiving yourself.
2. Recognize why you did it
Consider the occasion. Try to remember how you felt when you made the error for which you now feel responsible. Do so in a sympathetic but responsible manner. Don’t look for justifications or excuses. Instead, consider what need you were attempting to meet, given your frame of reference at the moment.
When you comprehend your frame of reference, you’ll realize that you were doing the best you could at the time.
When you understand what needs you were attempting to address, you can develop more constructive ways to meet those needs in the future.
3. Learn from your error
After thinking about the event and its consequences in step 2, examine how you are better today than you were before you did what you did. What have you discovered, and how have those discoveries enhanced your life and shaped you as a person?
4. You must make amends
In Judaism, you must first ask for forgiveness from your fellow man before you can ask God for pardon. We’re substituting “God” with “yourself” here.
Before you can forgive yourself, you must first ask for forgiveness from those you have hurt.
Communicate to the person(s) you have damaged with your actions that you recognize the suffering you have caused them and apologize: “I am sorry for the pain I have caused you.”
Remember that “I’m sorry if you’re offended” is not an apology. A genuine apology is not determined by how much the other person is upset, but by how wrong you know your actions were. An apology does not say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” but rather, “I’m sorry for what I did.”
Atonement entails putting your regret into action in order to mitigate the consequences of your conduct. If you are unable to directly affect the person(s) you have harmed, assist someone else who is in need.
Find a way to improve someone else’s life.
Atonement is not a kind of self-punishment; it is a form of restitution. Self-punishment benefits no one, including yourself. Atonement is both reparative and constructive.
6. Apply what you’ve learned
Use what you’ve learned from your error to guide your future actions. This is more than just a desire to improve. “What can I do to avoid making the same mistake again?” ask yourself.
Mindfulness is required to learn from your mistakes.
If you don’t pay attention to your ideas, emotions, and experiences, you’ll find it simple to revert to your old habits and make the same mistakes.
7. You must forgive yourself
And now say “I forgive myself for the faults I’ve done, and I allow myself to live as my greatest possible self.”
Do the following exercise when you wish to forgive someone. The phrasing is intended to have a certain effect, so make sure you carefully follow the procedures.
- Close your eyes and think about the person or incident you want to forgive.
- Now, concentrate on your heart’s energy. Feel that energy growing stronger as you breathe, and mentally allow it to expand out of your body, connecting with the energy of the Universe.
- Request that the Universe show you the situation from the highest point of view. Wait for the Universe’s reaction, which will feel like warm energy moving through your heart and body.
- Now, ask the Universe to convey to your cells that you’ve learned everything you needed to know through your unforgiveness. Wait for an answer from the Universe once more.
- Then, request that the Universe educate your cells on what it is like to be able to forgive this individual. Visualize or feel the energy answering to your request once more.
- Now, ask the Universe to demonstrate how much forgiveness will benefit you and your life. Allow the healing energy to flow through you.
- Finally, ask the Universe to show you what it’s like to truly forgive them. Allow the Universe’s energy to flow through your body once more, healing whatever is needed. Before you open your eyes, make sure that all of the energy has stopped moving.
This sequence of healing energies and understandings will soften and disperse the old blocked unforgiveness. Once the unforgiveness is gone, the mental conflict will dissipate and the stress will be gone for good.
Everything you can do to relieve your stress is beneficial to your health.
I urge that you go back through your life and clean it up. When you recall an incident that upset you or made you furious in the past, pause for a few seconds to see if you notice the same emotion resurfacing. If this is the case, you must forgive. To shift the negative energy, simply go through the forgiving process.
It is also really beneficial to use the Bach Flower Remedies of Holly and Willow. These heal your cellular memory of unforgiveness and eliminate deep-seated resentment and bitterness that you have most likely been holding for years.
It is true that forgiving is beneficial to both parties.
It not only demonstrates love by letting go of perceived wrongs from the past, but it also improves the well-being of the person who forgives. Even if it appears difficult, it is well worth the effort. Wish you the best of luck in your forgiveness journey!